Making stuff, getting rewarded for it.

This week Crawford's chapter made me think about the relationship between work and reward.  His example about children making drawings hit me pretty hard; it's weird to think that the children who were rewarded for drawing well eventually lost interest, whereas those who were outside of a reward system continued to draw.  I sort of wonder what that means for our education system in general, and myself in particular.  I have been drawing for as long as I can remember.  I don't remember being rewarded for it, at first.  In Kindergarten, I have a distinct memory of getting a "bad grade" for not coloring inside the lines on an assignment (which was probably more about testing motor skills than creativity anyway.)  But later, I remember winning a poster contest in third grade, and getting an art award at my sixth grade graduation.  Those things made me feel good about myself, but they didn't make me stop making art.  It wasn't until I was in middle school and tried to start selling art that I ran into problems.

I don't remember when I got into making tiny animals out of Sculpey clay, but once I did, I was a little machine.  I've always had a problem with making things and then not being able to part with them, so when people asked about buying from me, I didn't want to sell to them.  At least, not my original creations; but it was possible to make more of what I had already made, right?  And that, combined with a ready supply of middle-aged quilters and other camp-goers, is how I ended up drowning in a pile of orders.  Needless to say, I quickly lost the motivation to fill those orders; it wasn't enjoyable to make the same thing over and over again.  I think this might be part of what Crawford was talking about.  The relational aspect is interesting too; I'm always much more motivated to make things if they are intended for a particular person.  I guess what I don't know is, how do I combine creativity, hands-on work, and relationship?  How do I integrate those things into my life and still support myself?  I don't want to end up like the banker whose only joy comes from climbing Mt. Everest.  I want to be able to live a life that is fulfilling and serves God in every part of it, not a segmented life with a job I hate.